Untitled #01

friendship should never begin the way it has between you and me

where were our hellos and nice to see yous and how has it beens

you and i dove headfirst into beat hearts and flooded cheeks

i could offer only space--or a lack thereof--and a box of tissues

do you remember when we lied in bed and stared at the ceiling

i silently disagreed when you deserted the want of love for sorrow

you said what you wanted to hear, what you wanted to believe

i was melancholy but moved to content, because i now know you

is it selfish to wonder if this, that, and the other thing led to an us

i am dark enough to see your light, willing to take you on

keep talking to me with your scattered thoughts

because i do not love you, a curious infatuation

friendship should never begin the way it has between you and me

love became stale shackles of blindness, whilst you remained lovely

i was left wearing a chain that greened my skin as you sat under glass

your emptiness filled by another, first a place and then a person

cheers, i drank to you, loneliness painted a façade of solitude

but curiosity curdled when you were not found on cheshire street

and where you once lived became sacred, graffiti and knickknacks

i went home, a crowded tube, nobody to share sore heels, sweaty backs

is it selfish to wonder if that, that, and the other thing led to an us

is the weight of this slowly killing me, or does my reality kill you

keep talking to me with your scattered thoughts

because i do not love you, a punch line to a bad joke

friendship should never begin the way it has between you and me

your heart, broken again, differently, difficultly, syncopated with mine

i told myself not to skip a beat, like turn signals that never aligned

we ate thai food and talked about him while i rubbed your shoulders

you have very soft skin, your skin, your skin, you, and i knew how it felt

i drove around, windows down, while you read poetry and inspired me

your words, beautiful and smart, creation like creator like Creator

my words, stupid, honest, and bleak, do not let me slow you down

is it selfish to wonder if that, that, and the other thing led to an us

damned am i until i find the courage to ask you to dinner

keep talking to me with your scattered thoughts

because i do not love you, butterflies and careful nerves

friendship should never end the way it might between you and me

where were our hellos and nice to see yous and how has it beens

our fractured togetherness has made me more aware of myself

do not bastardize my curious thoughts and romantic tendencies

do not let me watch your hair flutter from shoulder to shoulder

do not let me smell your mix of sweat and perfume, it is sweet

do not drop your sufjan-adorned computer into your bag

do not go, i fear that our togetherness will prematurely end

is it selfish to wonder if that, that, and the other thing led to an us

fill my stomach with bubbles and my garden with yellow begonias

keep talking to me with your scattered thoughts

because i do not love you, yet